Friday 16 November 2012

Grace's 100 Word challenge Week 9


Mars bar!

The greatest scientific discovery of all time and I made it. Being the first human on Mars was amazing but this was just legendary. Who would off thought one square of chocolate with a fingerprint on could change the world of course like this? Not me that’s for sure. It wasn’t my fault. Besides, the army will deal with the ships. When we took that chocolate we had already scoured the planet surface for something, anything that would prove their existence and then, a mere foot from our glassy craft, sat one block of choclate. Aliens!

12 comments:

  1. I really like your 100 word challenge grace i think you used allot of good words such as "legendary" and "besides"

    from Harvey,maple class

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Harvey, I tried to use 'ambitious vocabulary'.

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    2. Thanks Harvey, I did try to use 'ambitious vocabulary'.

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  2. I really like your 100 word challenge grace i think you used allot of good words such as "legendary" and "besides"

    from Harvey,maple class

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hannah Team 100WC17 November 2012 at 11:20

    Hi Grace, such an imaginative 100WC well done!I like how you connected the mars chocolate with the mars planet, it made a really exciting story. Also like Harvey said, you used really impressive vocabulary, keep it up!

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  4. Very good grace I couldn't stop reading.
    What happens next?

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  5. Hi Grace . I think that it is a very imaginative and interesting the title is also cool.
    : )

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  6. Dear Grace,
    I really like you entry to the 100 WC. I like it because you have used connectives, to open sentances, and that is part of ACARP PIE. Have you heard of ACARP PIE? I f you haven'tit is ways to open you sentances. I also like how you have made the people to be on Mars, rather than on Earth. Maybe next time you could use some adverbs. Visit us at www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
    From Julia

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  7. Hi Grace. That was a great peice of writing because it used great suspence and we wanted to read on.

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  8. Wow,Grace I really like your 100 WC I couldn't stop reading,your wonderful 100 WC,keep your 100WC challanges up because they are great.
    Your friend Olivia
    www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net

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  9. Well done,
    I like how you have ended you sentence really short. I think thats a really good way to end your sentence. Next time, maybe you could add some more punctuation like an ellipses.
    From Annalese
    at www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net

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  10. Hi Graces good work block of choclate aliens funny


    from Klaudiusz

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