I was exhausted: I had ran from the kidnapper.
The car stopped suddenly... Worried and scared, tired and cold, I ran as fast as I could to get away. I fell! I gave up, they had me. If only I did what mum said, if I only hid and screamed for help, then I wouldn’t be in this mess.
The large, scary man grabbed me before I could blink. He put me in his bag. The only fragrance of his car was; Coconuts! Where was he taking me? I was worried-sick. “Bye life...” He shoved me in a warm, smokey room. I was blindfolded [and choking!] It was my mum’s boyfriend...
Look who I got! Well done this week Charlotte. I see you have used a De:de sentence, a 2A sentence an if, if then and a 2 pairs one too! Wow! All that in just 100 words. You have used a wide range of punctuation here as well. I like the sense of pace in your story - a little like watching a thriller movie.
ReplyDeleteMrs Prior - Team 100WC AND Team Maple Class :)
Dear Charlotte, amazing 100WC! Well done for using a DE:DE sentence! We do that in our class too! I loved reading this, because you used great powerful words! WELL DONE!
ReplyDeletefrom Charlotte
www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
p.s please leave a comment on our blog!
Dear Charlotte,
ReplyDeleteAmazing, I love your De:de sentence at the beggining and I was gripped from the start to end!That is an amazing writers tool to have! I just wanted to read on and on and on but it is a shame it was a 100 word challenge, because I just wanted to read and read and read! Maybe you could make it into a stoy! Well done Charlotte!Keep it Up!
From Charlotte D
www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
WOW!!!!!!!!! Lottie I love your 100 word challenge. It is very good Lottie.
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