Monday, 29 April 2013
Karis's 100 Word challenge - Week 28
It was Friday the thirteenth. As I opened my eyes I glared at the dark, looming scene around me. Scared and worried, tired and cold, I sat on the metal roof, still. The skies were grey and I had lost all hope. My home was destroyed, my family were dead and my life was over. An icy, cold tear rolled down my shameful face. I sat next to my brother and held my hand on his cheek. He was gone. As I clambered out of the burned rubble. Screams ran through my head the noise was deafening. No more life!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
What an emotive piece of work Karis. This gave me goosebumps when I read it. I can see you have used a 2 pairs sentence too. Lovely use of vocabulary such as 'clambered' for effect. Don't forget your text layout. Think about where you could have begin a new paragraph.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant writing.
Mrs P
Thats a good piece of work karis. it made me shiver.
ReplyDeleteWow! That was really emotional but if you were sad would you glare into the darkness?
ReplyDeleteDear Karis,
ReplyDeleteYour 100 word challenge was amazing and I enjoyed reading it. I like how you have used an amazing adjective such as ' looming '. Also, I like how you have used a great opener such as ' as I clambered '. Next time, you could use some more adjectives such as ' gargantuan, petrified and blazing '. Other than that a very BIG WELL DONE! From your quad blogging buddies at www.6D2012.highlawnprimary.net