Friday, 7 December 2012

Emily's 100 Word Challenge Week 12

Alone. I stood alone. On the cold hard stone floor of my big empty house wondering if I would ever see daylight again... I heard a faint whilstling comiming from my front door. I paniked and broke into a cold clammy sweat, I ran down stairs to find everything as it usually was: My thick black curtains blocked my window, my stone grey chair facing the dusty wall. I sat in my chair facing the wall. Then I heard a parcel drop. I span round to see a black parcel with a pink ribbon... It was for me!! I OPENED THE PACKAGE...
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5 comments:

  1. Mrs Prior10 December 2012 at 13:49

    What a great way to begin this piece of work - with one single word. This really created impact. I also like your use of 2A (two adjective) sentences. Now I'm wondering what was inside that package.
    Mrs P

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  2. Anonymous10 December 2012 at 17:45

    WOW welldone Emily your story has got amazing suerspence. Next time you cold add some advebs I really like the part where you say (Alone I stood alon.) Welldone keep up the fabulers work.

    From your friend Emily 6D www.6d2012@highlawnprimary.net

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  3. Julia11 December 2012 at 18:33

    Dear Emily,
    I really like your 100WC. I like how you have left the reader wondering what it might be, at the end. I also really like how you have hooked the reader, by using one word to start your very first sentance 'alone.' Maybe next time you could use some adverbs, but this story is still great without them! I really like this piece of writing, and hope to see some more on your blog. Keep it up! Visit us at www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
    From Julia

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  4. Anna12 December 2012 at 08:19

    Dear Emily,
    What a great 100 word challenge, I love the way you used suspense and ended it on a cliffhanger. I love the way you started it with a single sentence (Alone), it really added suspense and made me want to read on! You also used an ellipsis, that added even more effect and enfersised the last sentence by putting it in CAPITALS. Maybe you could have used an Adverb or adjective to start your sentence!
    Well done and keep blogging and writing,
    from Anna
    at
    www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net

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  5. Anonymous8 February 2013 at 14:56

    Well done Emily a fantastic 100 word challenge keep on writing till you improve :) The way you wrote the end of you 100wc was really good and i loved the way you used the cliffhanger well done

    From Sanna :)

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